The prawns don’t like me

And they say that forbidden fruits always taste the sweetest. True enough. Slack when ur not supposed to and you feel shiok. Slack when you have all the time in the world to, and you start to feel bored. Ok people who are still having exams don’t bash me up. I suggest you stop reading from this point haha.

Can’t believe i absent-mindedly wanted to blog on my old blog instead of here. Aah i am blur.

Anyway this is the shortest exams i’ll ever have. In H’s words, swift, painless death. Very apt. Just wait till i get my results it won’t be painless anymore. 4 days to study for 2 consecutive papers? Exam starts and end within 2 days ? I don’t even know how i did it. But let’s not talk about depressing topics anyway. Year 3 Sem 1 is O-V-E-R, as far as i’m concerned.

Headed straight for Madagascar 2 with lei after my last paper. Love it cos it was so funny ! When Moto moto emerged from the water and swaggled up i totally pengz. and we talked and laughed all the way home…agreeing that most guys nowaday are just plain evil. oh and i had the ugliest looking chicken katsu-don at the food court. I think even the sch’s one is better. but ahh well, i was hungry and it was 15 mins before the movie.

Wednesday was a total slacking/nua-ing/wadever you want to call it session at home. with GOSSIP GIRLS. haha. I watched so much i eventually got tired of it. Some parts were so scandalous they start to become crappy and unreal. bahhh. What did i say about forbidden fruits right at the very start. oh and i slept lots. and lots. and lots. What’s new. That’s the post-exam routine. S was incredulous that i wasn’t out clubbing becos it’s wednesday and mambo night. -_- i don’t like mambo nights. So we almost headed out but it was pouring so we postponed it.

Specially went back to school to collect my portfolio yesterday…my precious haha. Not that my work is anything amazing but i’m still proud of my efforts throughout the sem. Not willing to donate it to the department =P And then i went to buy ingredients for baking ! Whee =D

This time round i tried making apple cinnamon muffins and horlicks doggie cookies. The former was a failure because there was too much apple and as a result it made the batter taste weird ? Sian. But the latter made me smile cos they turn out not bad and really adorable haha. But first batch was kindda chao ta so only the second batch was really good. No photos cos camera is not with me.

S called in the middle of my baking to ask if night cycling is still on cos that was kindda our plan the night before. Only to realise that i don’t have a bike and bike rental closes pretty early. Overnight rental would mean having to hang ard till the shop opens to return. too troublesome. so, we went…prawning. Now since i haven’t tried that before i thought there’s no harm trying.

We went to this fishing place at boon lay and it seem kindda ulu maybe cos it’s a weekday night and not many people were ard. So got the rods and baits (chicken heart !) and after he set up cos obviously i have no idea what to do, we sat down to prawn. After like 1 hour, i got no prawn -_________- Then we exchange rod/place and miraculously after dunnoe how long i finally managed to get one ! That was quite shiok. Alas, that was the only one for me the whole night. The prawns don’t like me. =(

Ok lar fine, so there is a technique for prawning which i didn’t quite master. Apparently when u notice the float going down (which means that something is tugging at the other end) you don’t just immediately pull up. You must give it a while and after you’re confident that the prawn’s on the bait + hook, pull up slowly. I kanna tricked by like 10 prawns. tug tug tug and when i pull they let go. (btw, you’ll feel darn exasperated) or maybe it’s the same prawn 10 times. So my conclusion is that prawning is only fun/exciting when you managed to get the prawn…the rest of the time you either spend it staring at the float or chatting.

The scariest part though, was getting the prawns off from the hook, cos some of them are so fierce ! And they have looooooong thin legs/pincers that threatens to kiap you. they will proceed to thrash about and put up a last fight/struggle. But it’s ok cos i wasn’t the one removing HAHA. so err grand total for the night, me: 1, S: 3. Darn expensive prawns. I think S took home to cook lols.

Hardly a terribly exciting activity, but an experience nonetheless. and then it was supper, we spent sometime circling round and round the area to find this hawker centre but nv did eventually. So it was back to good old macs. at least they have a clean toilet there haha. So i am guilty of having sinful, fattening supper at close to 4am. I think breakfast would sound better. Since i wake up in time for lunch everyday anyway.

Can’t wait for my girlies to be done with exams. Then we can go shopping/buffet-ing. Hurry hurry !

天亮了天亮了地球又转一圈了

今天，在去学校的途中，听到 S.H.E 的新歌《天亮了》。

顿时间，觉得眼眶微微的湿了。

除了感动，还是感动。

Post-exam plans

Thank u guys for the encouragement from the last entry. at least (at last), i’m done with my 2 design mods this sem. It had been fun, exhausting no less. I don’t know how i’ll do in the end, but it’s not up to me to change anything anymore.

Things i’ve briefly thought about, that i wanna do after the exams are over. 1: BAKE ! 2: Find a job and earn some $$. 3: Movie marathon on surfthechannel. Haven’t thought of more. oh and get a new phone. and chill over drinks. haven’t had one in ages.

And and and have a christmas party or get-together or whatever just for fun lols. Meihui’s throwing one but one’s never enough ! And i want to have a nice buffet. (Where’re my buffet buddies ???)

I think i deserve a mask tonight. haha. and i so want to start on my tea tree facial wash to clear the blemishes on my face aldry but my seaweed one just wldn’t finish. bleah =P

I don’t remember being

so stressed since dunnoe when. Dreamweaver drove me absolutely nuts, so much so that i broke down for a while last night. It’s just disgusting. I’m done with the website for now, it’s far from perfect, but i really can’t be bothered with it anymore.

First paper in 4 days’ time and i only spend like a day studying for my second, which is in 5 days’ time. Still have got the art package, printer specs and dummies to do up.

I don’t even feel tired when it hits 4am nowadays. I’m not tired, but i want to go to bed.

It’s not fun testing your limits.

Splurge

Yes, i am guilty of splurging. Yes, online shopping is addictive. Yes, i am fast getting hooked.

*hangs head in shame*

Number 1 is safely in my wardrobe. I think number 2 will be arriving in my mailbox tomorrow =D ! Number 3. is on sale. Cldn’t resist it for $16 haha. Hmm still waiting for the seller to reply though. Seems like i’m accumulating clothes to wear after the exams lols. Must WORK in the hol aldry lar !!

i is happy.

Nothing like having a nice warm piece of chocolate cake with lotsa chocolate sauce and yummy raspberry vanilla ice cream to brighten up anybody’s day. And of cos, sharing it with dear yee. Ahh…good food always taste nicer shared =)

Edit: I just stumbled onto this quote on someone’s blog and i thought it’s worth sharing. Thought-provoking. It made me think.

“We always find ourselves holding on to things. Sometimes, we hold on to these things for so long, we forget what we were holding on to. It’s only when we let go of them, then can we see what we were holding on to.”

Being honest, finally.

What happens when the one who taught you about love is also the one who taught you that true love doesn’t last forever ?

When you get betrayed by someone so close to you, i guess…you’re never quite the same person anymore. You don’t look at love the same way anymore.

I remember reading somewhere that this society doesn’t allow for people to be weak. You get hurt, feel sad and cry for a while, and for goodness sake just pick yourself up and move on. I’m sure we have all experienced that. Even i myself, have looked upon people who doesn’t pick themselves up in distaste.

I realised that i have never wrote about any details or my innermost feelings ever since the break up. Am i too afraid to face them/make them public ? It’s as if the more brief i make things sound, the less painful it is. Or rather, i refuse to appear weak to people who reads my blog. So everytime there is an urge to blog, i suppress it because it will make me look pathetic and pitiful – exactly the way i don’t want people to see me.

Even though i don’t talk about it, it doesn’t mean i no longer feel. It’s just that i feel more ready to deal with it, more ready to share now. Especially for friends who don’t already know the whole story.

This was a big blow to me. It hurt like hell. Imagine sharing your life most intimately with a person for 4 years, having shared so much about each other on so many different levels it’s as if two individuals were merging into one. and suddenly having the person vanish from your life completely, leaving you to pick up the pieces. It’s as if all the things that happened during the 4 years never took place before. And you start wondering who you’ve been spending the last 4 years with, and what were u guys doing. In a mild sense, it’s scary. But the worst of all is when you truely go and think about it, you get no answers.

Imagine missing him every single day he’s away. Imagine waiting for close to half a year, all the while anticipating of times you’ll get to spend together/ things you’ll get to do together when he’s back. Imagine staying up just so you can get to webcam. Imagine the frustation when message sending failed. Imagine the happiness upon getting his reply. Imagine your immense delight upon receiving his every postcard, knowing that with every one you received, the closer it is to have him back by your side.

And after all that, just to have everything shatter into nothingness on the long awaited day. Having it dawn on you that what you have been anticipating all along will never materialise. Can you even begin to understand the feeling of wanting something so badly and yet being denied it when you’re so very, very close to it ? No words suffice to express the pain. Not unless you go through it yourself.

I dealt with it in the most painless way i could. Stop feeling. Put everything somewhere far away in the back of my mind. and try not to think about it. I succeeded, at least for a while. And then when i think about it now, it’s not as bad because the pain has faded.

Maybe it’s stupid to think that if it doesn’t affect him as much, it shouldn’t to me too. But the fact that he was the one who gave up on us, topples this logic all together. Whatever it is, i felt this compelling need to be strong. to prove to myself as well as to others that i can do without him.

I cried buckets over it. I cried till i got a headache from it. i lost appetite. i lost sleep. I thought i would never be happy again. For a period of time, i was an emotionally unstable wreck. Whenever i think of him, i felt like something was squeezing me inside so hard i couldn’t breathe. If not for HK, i guess i would have seriously went into depression.

But, I’ve stopped crying a long time ago. I have been dreaming about him, about us though. Looks like even though i don’t think about it consciously, my subconscious is not allowing me to get away from it.

You know, it’s like whatever reasons you give yourself and others give you, it’s never enough to justify the hurt. The pain of the most unexpected betrayal. It’s like this horrible realisation of the truth in the words “You can’t trust someone completely, not even the person whose closest to you.” Because when you trust, you open up your heart. And when you do, you become emotionally vulnerable.

Our relationship failed the test of trust. As i’ve always said, the fault lies with both parties. I trusted him, but i didn’t trust him enough. He on the other hand, has been holding on to an unrealistic dream all along. We had vast differences in values and principles in life. I always thought that if i respected his opinions/decision, and he mine, we would have no problems. But it turns out that there are somethings we can never, and will never agree on. Maybe that’s what broke us.

I guess it just happens that the one who commits the act of betrayal gets the bulk of the blame. But in any case, nobody can judge the relationship, except the two of us because we were the ones in the relationship, not them. Nobody knows exactly what happened between us throughout the 4 years we’ve been together. Insights, opinions, yes, but no one knows it better than ourselves.

This is not to say that i don’t believe in true love anymore. I do and it exists, just that finding the right person is a lot harder than i thought.

There, i said my piece. feels better. I don’t care if you think this is another stupid emo post. I don’t care if you’re tired of reading about this issue. i really don’t. This is a very personal issue.

This is about me being honest and facing up to my feelings.

Of Birthdays, Blowjobs and Bubbles

For some reason i always end up dozing off on my beanie. Maybe it’s the warm and nua-nua feeling.

Anyway been stocking up on face shop masks lately ! If they really work wonders i might get the whole value pack. Love the cold tingy feeling of the mask on my face and some smells really nice.

Teatree and bergamot rank the highest on my favourite list, totally helps to clear blemishes. Next wld be Rose and pine (those who knows me knows that i go ga-ga over the smell of rose lols.) Hmm Cereal Rice is okay, and i tried Mung Bean last night which is so-so only. Still have got Aloe Vera and the trusty Teatree =)

Ok anyway since i’m aldry on the topic of skincare i shall just continue abt my skincare regime and review on beauty products haha. Got the white jewel scrub from TFS sometime ago too and it seems not too bad. Gentle scrub though sometimes so gentle that i wonder if it really helps to exfliolate. hmm. The TFS pore minimising toner and moisturer doesn’t work though ! I guess i won’t be a TFS fan soon. But i would be a fan of their sheet masks heh. Ok end of the vanity affair.

Now for some photos from Lix’s Bdae bash ! Okay this is photo intensive. The theme’s headwear !

We came early to do like 80 'blowjobs' ! Heh.

With the birthday girl !

We look so happieeeeeeeee !

The cool vs the cute

With cuhk friends. Aahhh...unforgettable summer.

Birthday kisses for my dear LR !

Some outdated photos from Liqi’s 21st ! Blue and white theme cos she loves dolphin haha